- To share in God's love and the love for God.
- To seek community with friends and family.
- To find direction in life.
I stopped attending service at the church that most of my friends attend. I thought it wouldn't change much but it did. I rarely see the friends from that church anymore. I attend the new one with a few close friends but half of them don't show up most of the time. I can't say I feel any sense of community anymore.
I agree with a lot of the things that the church tries to teach. Forgiveness, compassion, humility, etc. But the thing is, none of this is new. I try to practice all these things every day. Why do I need to hear about it every week? So I can be even more conscious of doing it? So I can tie these acts to a deity that I'm unsure exists? It seems very unnecessary.
My point is that I feel it's time for me to stop attending service. I know it shouldn't affect the way anyone perceives me. But I cannot help the fear that my friends will look at me differently. Even so, whatever the outcome is I think I will face it head on because the truth is that Christianity is just not for me ... right now.
You have my support.
ReplyDeleteThe only gain I get from church right now is (a) frequent re-emphasis of the qualities that you described and (b) lessons on what the people around me believe. There's little additional "morality" to learn, but a lot of reminders of what we should be doing.
Have you felt this way about God and Christianity for awhile? Or was this a recent change? I ask because I thought that I was the only not-particularly-religious Asian out of all of my friends. Seriously, I was so surprised how many of them, including you, were regular church- or temple-goers. Having always been religiously confused growing up, I wasn't sure how to feel about having just about everybody around me having "figured it out".
ReplyDeleteSorry that you're experiencing your own bout of confusion. (The questions we ask ourselves get exhausting after a while, doesn't it?) I understand your fear; I don't reveal that I'm agnostic (and am glad that there are few situations that bring that up.) Hang in there, and I hope that you'll soon find the supportive community you seek.
Although I figured that I'd be okay in believing in a god, I don't yet see the reason for (regular) worship. Isn't it enough that we become good people, acknowledging "you" by passing on your lessons and values?
Reiterating what you and Peter wrote, I agree that the benefits of a church service is the sense of love and community and the reminders of how to live. If it's not giving you what you want from it, however, feel free to step back and try something different. It may be scary, but change usually is. You can always go back, or change something else.
Okay, that's enough rambling from me. Good luck, Andy!
I have never been a religious person. I began attending church last September for a number of good and bad reasons. At heart, I am agnostic myself.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'm in the same confused boat as you are. I encourage you to check it out if you're interested enough. I have a friend that got baptized after six months. Then there's me where nothing changes from how it began.
I grew up in the church and stopped going this last fall. I totally relate to what you said, except maybe to a more extreme degree. After I stopped attending service and identifying myself as a Christian, I felt a whole weight fall off my shoulders. I do good things because I want to, not because of an abstract duty to a deity. In the same way, when I do bad things, I'm accountable to myself and humanity. It works for me, but not my Christian friends. I guess whatever floats your boat.
ReplyDeleteI had a tough conversation with a friend about the derivation of good, whether it was something from inside telling us that what we're doing is right or an aspiration to be like Jesus. I still disagree with the conclusions we came to.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that's how the Chan family is. Thanks for sharing your story, Erika.
Yeah I noticed you stopped going. I don't treat you differently!
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the things you've already described, church also means to me:
A desire to be humble and to acknowledge that I am not in complete control, but a God, who I wish to maintain a relationship with, is. The fact that I believe He exists is pivotal. Instead of asking, "what can Christianity do for me?" which you, and a lot of people here are asking, the question becomes, "what does Christianity want me to do?" If you believe in God and you don't want to do it, then that's your call. If you don't believe in God, then of course there's no reason to go to church.
An investment in a spiritual kingdom. Christians believe in heaven. They want to go to heaven and express their desire for it. In Christianity, unless you believe in JC, you don't get there. Doesn't matter if you're a great person in life. If you don't believe, then don't expect to get there when you die.
Kinda harsh, but I just wanted to give you the rest of the picture. Whatever you choose, no one can tell you what to believe.
What are you talking about? You don't call anymore. You're not paying attention when I talk to you. It's like I'm not there anymore. I thought we had so much, Kenny.
ReplyDelete