It's rare to be given an opportunity to glimpse into a life of "what could have been". Where would I be if I went through with football tryouts? What would I be like if I joined the student's union in high school? What would of happened if I asked that hot girl out?
When I was starting elementary school I met a pair of twins, named Davin and Kevin. They were Chinese and so was I, the three of us easily became the best of friends. Sadly, the teachers didn't like seeing us together. Our trio stuck to speaking Chinese between ourselves and our English skills weren't developing. So, the next year came along and the three of us were divided into the three first grade classes. Later on in elementary school, they moved away. Since then I've only seen them a couple of times.
Last Sunday was a volunteer appreciation luncheon for the volunteers of CBS. I pleasantly stuffed my face with free food while listening to a Filipino church choir. Afterwards, I recognized one of the volunteers that sat at another table, it was Kevin and Davin's mother. I went to say hello and we began to chat. It turns out that Davin is in Boston doing his third year of optometry and Kevin is in New York studying medicine and doing his rotations.
I was floored. These two started in the exact same shoes as I did when we were growing up. Hearing of the success the twins have found placed doubts in my mind. Where was my misstep in life? Did I not apply myself hard enough in school? I could be the one with a prestigious career. I could be in a big city. But I'm not, I screwed up somewhere.
After some time elapsed, I came back to my senses. I fell for the same shortcomings of Chinese culture that I constantly preach against. What makes being a doctor or optometrist so prestigious? The money they make? Money is the source of an affluent culture, which I try to cure myself of. Would I even be happy in the careers they have chosen? I am lucky that I found my calling. I don't think I am better suited for any profession besides programming. I have a great job with a great team and it can only get better.
I have an image of the person I want to become and I am slowly approaching that image. Even if I were to find the motivation that it takes to go back to school to study medicine, optometry or law, that would merely be a step away from the goals I have set for myself. It was nice that the Christmas spirits decided to show me what I could have become but I'm going to have to flip them the bird. This is where I want to be, bitches.
Phew. That 4th paragraph had me a little worried there. Yeah I totally agree with you. Sometimes I wish I was a doctor but that's only because a lot of my friends are and they are very successful and I sometimes compare myself to them. But I knew what I wanted to be very early in my life. Now I want to make it my goal to work harder and learn more than a doctor. Seems like such a ridiculous goal, but why not?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kenny. I can understand your sentiment. When you're surrounded by a certain level of success it's hard to not compare yourself to others. We want to measure ourselves and see how far we've progressed or how we fit into a societal scale. There's nothing wrong with that; however, I think our mistake is the metrics we use.
ReplyDeleteWe compare ourselves using the money we make, the difficulty of tests we write or the number of years in school we take. I feel we need to measure ourselves based on potential. Say we succeeded in medicine and we became unhappy and mediocre doctors. Is that really better than being a great programmer? We count the lives that doctors save but do we count the lives that are lost from wreckless doctors? Do we count how many lives are saved because we're meticulous with our code? Do we count how many lives would have been lost if our solutions didn't exist?
If you measure how much you've achieved in proportion to your potential, I believe you'll find yourself to be as successful, if not more, than your doctor friends.
Is your goal so ridiculous? There is certainly enough information out there for us to learn. What is wrong with trying to become the best that you can be? However ridiculous your goal of learning is, it is equally admirable.
Last night I watched Chris Rock - Kill the Messenger. One of Chris's comical monologues pointed out the difference between a JOB and a CAREER. When you're in a career you look at the clock and wonder, "OMG where did the time go? I'm going to have to come in early tomorrow to work on my project!". When you're in a job you look at the clock and say "It feels like I've been here all day... OMG it's only 9:08AM!"
ReplyDeleteFinding passion in what you do for a living is a more accurate measure of success as opposed to measuring where you fit in the job-status hierarchy. If you've found work that you're passionate for then maintain your passion for it by growing at it and by challenging yourself to improve.
I was reading comments to another blog. A commenter had moved to Spain and the Spaniards weigh jobs/careers much less than we do. It was a year after meeting his friends that he found out what they did for a living. Even the way they phrase the question was more like "what do you do to pay the bills while you fulfill your passion in your spare time?"
ReplyDeleteI kind of wish our society were less focused on things like stature.