Kyle's Best Man Speech

I was the best man for my friend's wedding yesterday. One of my responsibilities that night was to make a speech. Well, I never really like self-declarations but I rocked it. Since it was so awesome, I wanted to share it with the rest of you who might not have been present.

First of all, I want to express how honored I am to be here today as Kyle's best man. Last year, back in September, Kyle called me up and asked to hang out. So, we went to a restaurant downtown called Metro to shoot some pool. After I completely destroyed him in five straight games, we sat down for dinner. While we're waiting for our food, he asks if I would be his best man. That was it.

Hey Kyle!  I heard that you took Ashlea out for a fancy dinner and cleared out the patio before you popped the question. But *I* get a bar full of loud people and greasy food? Aren't I worth a little more effort?

It's okay, buddy,. I forgive you. Anyways, he asked me to be best man and immediately I swelled up with honor and pride. And I replied, "I better have been your first choice."

I'm just kidding. Of course I said yes.

Now I didn’t meet Kyle until we were both in junior high, which doesn't make any sense because we've always lived a block away from each other. I suspect that it was because we were never in the same home room together. But for whatever reason, our paths never crossed for the first seven or eight years of our academic careers.

When we did finally meet, it was epic. It was as if we were making up for lost time. We spent a ridiculous amount of time together. We rode our bikes to and from school every day. We played football during every lunch hour. We watched movies together. 

I remember, at the end of one school year, there were coupons for a dollar admission at the cheap theatres. They expired within the week but that didn’t stop us from stealing a stack of 30. We may have seen every movie that was playing. We may have seen them twice.

So, we spent a lot of time together. We were about two sleeping bags, one basement and a drunken confession away from being a scene from the movie, Superbad. That is what our friendship was like.

And with that much time, you come to know another person. I came to know Kyle as a passionate person. Have any of you seen his Maverick? You know those classic cars, those muscle cars that remind you what raw power really is? The roar of the engine that hurts the ears when you open up the throttle but in a good way? Yeah? Well, his Maverick was nothing like that.

Kyle's Maverick would never start when it was raining. And it would only start half of the time when it wasn't raining. I remember riding in the back when we got rear ended one day. The cabin was so small that when my head flew back, it hit the rear windshield.

But he loved that car unconditionally. That's what I call passionate. It didn't matter what we said or how we criticized it, he was always bragging about "The Beast". It didn't matter that to everyone else, it was a hunk of junk, it truly brought him joy and that's all that mattered to him.

Kyle is also a committed person. Have you ever talked to him about video games before? More specifically have you ever talked to him about Final Fantasy 7? It is a long game that took me *50 hours* over the span of *half a year* to finish it and I even skipped through most of the optional quests. Kyle completed everything that was available to do in that game. I can’t possibly imagine how long it took. And he did this almost once a month for five years.

Our society is all about the consumption. When some of us try to watch as many new movies as possible or follow all of the latest tv shows, when we all think about moving onto the bigger and better, Kyle is still watching the same original Star Wars trilogy he watched when he was a little kid. He’s still watching them when he has seen each of the three movies a hundred times before. Now that's what I call commitment.

Kyle is also considerate. One year, he had an early Thanksgiving dinner with his extended family. When he told me he was having another Thanksgiving dinner with his immediate family, I told him how jealous I was. Chinese people don't really celebrate Thanksgiving but I love turkey dinners, I love gravy, I love mash potatoes and everything that comes with it. He comes back to me the very next day and says, "I talked to my parents. We'd like to invite you over for Thanksgiving dinner this weekend." Just like that. Without any initiation from me.

But why am I telling you this? You all know this. Everyone here sees all these characteristics all the time. I have not seen a stronger example of being passionate, being committed and being considerate from Kyle as when I see him with Ashlea.

Now, I know this is your wedding day. The day is all about the two of you and it's really selfish for me to ask anything from you but I feel I have to.

Ashlea, I think you’re incredibly lucky. Kyle is an incredibly nice guy. So I want you to do me a favor.

Please keep Kyle grounded in reality. Kyle's a really creative guy and with that comes a large imagination. He tends to dream big. When we were kids, he wanted the two of us to earn a fortune making video games in Hawaii. And for some reason he wanted us to drive a matching pair of pink Pintos. I have no idea where that idea came from, it certainly wasn't mine.

He's always wanted to retire when he was 25, even though he never had a plan of how to get there. It's gotten better since he's met you. He still wants to retire yesterday but at least now he has a vague idea of how he’s going to do it.

It was great seeing him saving for this wedding, saving to help you pay with tuition and otherwise working towards a goal. So I’d really appreciate it if you continued to keep his feet planted in the ground.

It's also a great thing that you're a nurse. I need you to keep him from doing dumb things. Or at the very least, take care of him after he's done them. One year, he broke his wrist playing football. He was sidelined for the rest of the season and didn't get to play. To say he was upset is an understatement.

So the following year, when he broke his wrist again, what did he do? He didn't tell anyone. He played injured. He suffered through the pain for an entire season before seeing a doctor. He's on my volleyball team now and I don't need a battered and beaten old man. So, please keep him from harm.

And lastly, if you can't do any of the above, please try and grant this last request. Be yourself. All the "advice" you hear tonight, from myself or from others, telling you of what you need or should to do as a wife. Don't take them too seriously.

Kyle asked you to marry him because of the woman that you are. It wasn't the image of the woman you will be that he proposed to. It was you. So just be more of... this and I guarantee you that you'll make Kyle the happiest man on Earth.

Now Kyle, I've got to ask something of you. I don't know if you know this or not. But I look up to you like an older brother. Not like Jeremy, your older brother, but a brother you want to be like.

You were always the first one to do things. Not just ahead of me but ahead of our entire group. You were the first to own a car, you were the first to have a full time job, you were the first to move out.

Here we are today and you're the first one to get married. What I want to ask of you is that you continue showing me how to live a good life. I need you to show me what it is to be a caring husband. When the time comes, I need you to show me what it is to be a loving father. And I need you to show me how to love one woman for the rest of my life.

I’m honored to be here today to celebrate this occasion with the two of you. Ashlea, Kyle. Congratulations.

I'd like to thank all the people who helped me out with this. I was stressed out about it but with the help of some friends, I was able to relax a little bit and gain a little confidence. Special acknowledgment goes to Ken for fixing it up a little bit, helping it flow a little bit better and his suggestions really put the movies part together.