I've gotten varied responses from people when they find out I have begun to attend service. It feels like some believe I have seen the way of God, while others are accusatory claiming I am conforming to friends or chasing girls. I can see truth in those statements, but they are miles from the true reason I began to attend service.
When I was small, I didn't own many things. Our family had things; we owned our house, our furniture but none of it was mine. For example, I could use the couch but, if my parents willed it, it could have been taken away from me. Everything could have been taken away.
As I got older, I got gifts for my birthdays and Christmas. These were things that belonged to me. No one had any right to take them away from me. And I became really possessive over these items.
I remember one of the repeating daydreams I had in class was the scenario of coming home and finding my house on fire. In my head, I saw myself dashing into the flames of my house. Running past collections of family photos and heirlooms, I would make my way up the stairs to my room where I would save my most precious possessions, my computer and Playstation.
Toys... I would save my toys. I can even remember the anger I felt running through my blood when I considered the possibility that I couldn't save these items. Those were the most important things in my life.
How pathetic! And even though I was a teenager, I knew in the back of my mind that my materialism was shameful. But I wasn't about to lie to myself, that was truly where I laid my values.
Since then, I have been waiting for myself to develop more significant values. I feel that I finally have. Sure, I still value my toys but if you took my iPhone and 360 away, that's fine; I know I'll live. As long as I have my health, family and friends, I'm richer than I ever deserve to be.
That realization came naturally to me as I developed healthier and stronger relationships with the people around me and discovered my enthusiasm for my health. But I don't want to stop there. I want to continue exploring my spirituality, which I take as an understanding of my place in the universe.
Attending service is one of those avenues I'm exploring. But I am still open to other avenues of spirituality. From its description, it sounds like Buddhism aligns very well with my beliefs. It just happens Christianity was the easiest for me to get into.
So, yes, I can understand how God exists and loves us. Yes, I like being with my friends. Yes, there are some fine Christian girls. But to be honest, I just don't want my life to be about stuff.
So... it's OK if I get oily potato chip fingerprints on your board game pieces because spending time w/ friends is what counts? hehehe
ReplyDelete"Stuff", that reminds me of my favourite streaming video about our unsustainable relationship with "stuff":
http://www.storyofstuff.com/
As long as you don't mind my ring denting your table every time I slam my hand down as you roll a number I'm not on.
ReplyDeleteHaha, very nice post. I wish I'd had the guts to write such blogs a few years ago when I was looking at my own spirituality.
ReplyDeleteFunny story - I was given a book about spirituality by my previous (Christian) girlfriend. It also made the point of not getting attached to stuff. To me, it was a very special and enlightening book, and I became quite attached to it. I loaned it out recently, and then started worrying whether I would ever get it back. Talk about irony...
I looked at Buddhism as well a few years ago. It shares much in common with Deism in that it is based on "thinking about the world around you and inside you". My only issue was I felt Buddhism made a few too many assumptions (eg. reincarnation) that I found hard to justify. Deism can make very few assumptions, very few conclusions, and can end up fairly useless as a result. :)
And yes, there are some very very fine Christian girls. ;)
Shout out to the Christian Gals! Au Au! haha
ReplyDeleteThe time I spent reading Wikipedia, I didn't read much on reincarnation. Of course, it may be a big part of the religion. I may have just been skipping through the parts I didn't care for to get to the goods I was concerned about.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, I don't truly believe in heaven either. Both post-life alternatives are possible. I just don't see why I should care. There's way more than I can handle in this life time, I don't see why I should be concerned about what happens after I die too. Worry overload, no?
The "Story of Stuff" has some good points. I don't deny it. But it's one sided commentary makes it hard for me to take it seriously.
ReplyDeleteEven if it is right a lot of the time, I will disregard it completely because it only shows one side of the issue. Nothing in life is black and white, so why is this video?